5 Truths behind becoming a new dad
Becoming a new dad is one of the most terrifying and exciting times in a man's life. Han-Son from Daddilife talks about the truth behind becoming a new dad to a baby, and some helpful pointers to get you through.
I remember the first time I became a dad like it was yesterday. Holding this little ball of human across my arms, and thinking – ‘Oh My God, life just got so real!.’ I’ll always remember the car journey on the way home for the first time, and being cautious about every little thing on or around the road – it was like wanting to be a safety blanket for my son at every turn!
At DaddiLife, we constantly write about how we’re entering a modern day dad era, and for those fortunate enough to become a new dad, a little advice never goes amiss, especially from other first time dads.
So, here are 6 areas that you’ll want to action as a new dad.
1. enjoy those little moments in the face of utter chaos
Nothing will be perfect initially. Screams of ‘where’s the nearest wet wipe’ and ‘oh no it’s got everywhere on the carpet again!’ will be heard for miles. But don’t worry dad, this is thoroughly normal.
Life, sleep, food, and just about everything else is going to align to a whole new set of priorities. But even in the most tired and chaotic moments, try and treasure those little moments for as long as you can. From the baby sleeping on daddy, through to their first deep stare into your eyes – remember you’re in charge of a little being of joy – and they’re learning from you all the time.
2. have a system
It’s amazing how well you can function on such little sleep, or at least that’s what you’re about to find out! But it’s when you’ve stirred the marmite in your tea instead of the milk that you realise that having a system in place for the important baby tasks will be key.
For your changing station, for instance, get the nappies, creams, ointments, and everything else into a system that means you’re able to change that nappy as quickly as possible – and quite possibly with your eyes closed too!
Warning though – you’ll want to agree the system with your other halves too – a system can be a cause of great ‘debate’!
3. bonding may not be instant
We’re often led to believe that the love drug, serotonin, is something that kicks in the very moment you first see your baby.
I’ve got to tell you – I did not feel that one iota when I first saw my baby. I felt a range of emotions of course – shock probably being the biggest one. But the love grew, and in fact, many studies have shown recently that dads on average are only producing that serotonin more after the baby’s 3rd or 4th month. This all means that bonding with the baby isn’t necessarily going to be an instant thing – and that is totally ok.
4. think about ways to keep unnecessary visitors away
Picture the scene, you’ve finally got the baby to sleep after the umpteenth time of trying. You look over at the clock and it says 08:00. Of course for some others that’s the start of the day, but for you, it’s the chance to get an hour, maybe even 2.
So imagine the frustration when 5 minutes later you hear KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK from the postman.
This one from tips from a new dad sums it up pretty nicely!
5. you may feel guilty
There will be times where you ask yourself some tough questions: Am I doing enough? Why won’t they take milk from me?
Dad guilt is a very real thing and spurred on post paternity leave where your mind will be consistently on the baby, but your body will be somewhere else.
It’s not always easy to just ‘get a new job,’ and in a recent study of 1200 dads, 28% felt guilty about not making enough money to provide for their families in the way they’d like. It’s important if the guilt turns into a deeper, more constant worry, that you talk to those around you too – at home and at work.
6. you’ll learn some new dad skills
You’ll find that your love of an awful one-liner or a truly horrific dad joke is about to get to the next level. Even if you’re already a pro of the dad jokes– you will find that to those around you, you have the rare ability to tell them like never before!
It won’t just be humour that you’ll learn to evolve, but new skills like how to make slime are just around the corner too! You lucky thing.
From becoming a new dad to potty training toddlers to dad jokes; Daddilife curate the very best Dad content for everything you need to know. You can read more stories over on their website.